So here is what I found while having my morning coffee. A great article by a fellow HS mom who, like me, knows this is not easy. Unlike her, I realized early on that school is not every one of my kids' favorite thing. Mimi LOVES it. Natan tolerates it. George DISLIKES it (for the record, I hated every day of school for as long as I can remember). Vinny wants to be in fifth grade and can already read early phonetic readers. This was tough at first. However, just like this mom, I have learned to tailor my HS day to meet the needs of my four. Mimi would sit and do school all day until dark. George is happiest during recess. I refuse to medicate for conditions such as ADHD. There are far more creative ways to channel all that energy.
There is no set rule for when they need to reach goals, nor is there a rule on how I have to teach them. I am not bound by state or county guidelines. We are going to learn about dinosaurs this month simply because we want to. There is no standardized test at the end of the year to determine how smart they are. I know their strengths, and I know the areas that need more attention.
I edited this to highlight the main points. And I am posting it so I can refer back to it over the years...this blog is really just my way of keeping track of all that goes on around here anyway!!
I have a child who hates school.
This is hard for me to admit because it feels like I failed. I failed my son, my family, and the homeschool community.
The bottom line… ten years ago I
tried to force a square peg into a round hole, and it didn’t work.
Instead of focusing on what he could do I worried about all the things
he couldn’t.
Slow Down
My biggest mistake with my older son was that I started too early. Who decided that all kids should start school when they’re five?
Just because a book, friend,
neighbor, or mother-in-law tells you your child should be able to do X,
Y, and Z at a certain age doesn’t mean they can.
You know your child better than anyone.
They will learn how to read,
write sentences, add and subtract, and tell time. But they don’t have to
do it all before they turn six.
Change it Up
The benefit of homeschooling is that you can tailor your child’s education to fit their needs.
Set Small Achievable Goals
Don’t overwhelm your reluctant
learner with a laundry list of “to-dos.” Set manageable short term goals
and celebrate with your child when they reach them.
Some reluctant learners need a simple incentive to help them meet their goals.
Involve Them in the Process
Children like to have control
over something, so let them have a say in what they are learning. Let
them pick out a few library books, help plan their schedule, or choose a
field trip.
Giving them ownership of their education can change attitudes and outcomes.
Don’t Give Up
Many children who are reluctant learners bring a bit of a bad attitude to the school table.
Don’t get discouraged.
While it might seem easier to give up and let this child play on the
computer all day than fight with them to finish their schoolwork this
will hurt you and them long term.
Don’t Confuse Reluctancy with Disobedience
Reluctancy does not justify
disobedience. Even if your child struggles it is important to set
guidelines and boundaries for them.
You know your child best and are able to determine whether you are
dealing with attitude or learning issues.
It’s Not About You
I believe that as homeschoolers
we tend measure our success by our children’s. A child who reads at age
three, writes their first novel at eight, and takes community college
classes at thirteen must have an amazing mother who homeschooled them,
right?
Wrong.
That child might have an amazing mother, but they are probably pretty motivated too. Your child’s struggles do not mean you’re a failure as a homeschool mom.
It is hard to work to teach a reluctant learner, there will be tears (yours and theirs) and you will wonder if it is worth it.
It is.
My little reluctant learner now
has a cheerful attitude when it comes to school. He is first at the
table every day and even does extra school work without being asked. He
still struggles but he realizes it’s just part of the process and he
wants to learn just as badly as I want him to learn.
He will overcome his struggles and succeed. He already has.
