(Blog contains language that some find offensive--don't read it if you're going to be offended!)
Dear Henry County Schools,I would like to apologize in advance for some words that you will likely be hearing in the new school year this Fall from Mimi and George. You see, I'm Canadian. (Isn't that a universal excuse--blame Canada!!!!). My favorite vacation spot was/is the Mundle's Farm in Nova Scotia--one of the many reasons was that we got to say "shit" for 2 weeks--they didn't say "manure". The "sh" word was acceptable EVEN BY THE KIDS!!!!! Of course, upon returning home to Ontario, that didn't fly. Manure became mundane manure again...and you would have to have a "BM" even!!!!!! No wonder I was always constipated! BM, mother--really??!! We couldn't even say "poop", I recall.
The day of my Grandpa's funeral, our dog Hazel Mary ran away and I heard my dad drop the F-Bomb for the first time! I remember--he was in my parent's bedroom in his tightie-whities and black dress socks (a uniform of sorts!) and he just let it rip--twice in a row! I remember this sick, guilty feeling of awe and thought, "WOW!" I knew then the power of words...but when I tried to use it later I got in a lot of trouble.
Then I moved here. To the South. The land of: "Dad-Gummit."I also hear, but am sure it's not exclusively Southern: "Oh, Snap", "Oh, Father", and now I am hearing "Frickin'" from many young kids. Seriously?? This is what passes for making an exclamatory point?
In the past five years, being the sole educator of Mimi and George, I admit, there are times when words have slipped out. We hit a dog three and a half years ago while driving and I put two words together that I have never put together in my life. AND THEY REPEATED IT MONTHS LATER!!! What are the chances!
I do not drop f-bombs (I do have some standards). I also refuse to say Dad-Gummit. if you're going to say it, make it stick. How else will my kids know when Mommy is mad and not just a little annoyed?
And I found out that Jason has been letting them listen to the musical he is working on at Woodward, "Curtains". Evidently, there is some serious profanity in it. For example, after George and Mimi attacked and killed a "flaumet" (hornet) the other day, George, after flushing the dead flaumet down the toilet said, as he was leaving the bathroom, "Son of a bitch. I killed it." He said it quietly and without any knowledge of what he was saying. If he had sung it (Jason said it's in the musical they've been listening to), I might not have written this letter, but now I am worried. Not that their language will offend--don't really care. But I worry they will miss recess every day for some slip up.
In my defense, I don't let them use the words "stupid," "gay," "retard," or "shut up." I find those more offensive than anything else. Parents who allow this should be ashamed.
They do say "Oh my god." And since religion has no place in public school, you can't stop them. It's not cursing. It's not taking anything in vain. People who call themselves religious types but are mean to people--they're taking care of the "in vain" part.
They do not know that "jackass" is considered a bad word--they think it's an appropriate word for a person who texts/talks on his/her cell while driving!!!!
They will call smokers stupid (the one allowance for the word), because well, smoking is stupid.
And I can promise you one thing: You will never hear a racist comment from my kids. They will love you and hug you and do everything they can to please you, they'll just add a little spice occasionally. Please be forgiving and understanding.
So, teachers, I hope you will be able to get past the imperfections of my children (the direct reflection and imperfections of their parents!!!!).
It's not their fault.
They're half-Canadian.
Sincerely yours,
A. Monatgue
(Have I mentioned lately that if you don't like what I write, don't read??!!)
