Ahhh...

Spring...I welcome you with open arms!

Today was what I consider a perfect day.

Kids agree.

Clear blue sky.

Strong sun.

Light cool breeze.

Played outside until we had to come in for a break!!!!

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Things said of late:

Mimi (when I took out our pound cake baked this morning):

"Mama...you are a good cooker!"

George, yesterday while Jason and I were having a conversation about Elvis Presley:

"Elvis? We know Elves, Mama!"

Me: "Huh??"

George: "You know--at Nana's Blue House!"

Me: "Huh??"

George: "Elvis...who lives by Nana on the farm."

Me: "Oh! You mean ELDON!!!!!"

George: "Yeah...Eldon."

(moment of silence)

George: : "I like Eldon. He's my friend."

And finally, this one was heard while the kids were playing with play dough. They were making little play dough balls and rolling them along the kitchen table:

Natan: "Wook, Mama! I have Georgie's balls!"

George: "Mama! Natan gots my balls! NATAN!!! Give me my balls back!!!!!!"

Yeah...I really have no comment...
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Jason's cousins (Dad's side), Nikol and Olivia, are coming this weekend to visit form D.C. The kids are SUPER excited to see them and it is all they talk about! Is today "Cousint Day?" I hear every day, all day! Have baked and cooked and shopped and we will pick them up Friday evening! It's been awhile and we are all looking forward to their visit!!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y---NIGHT!!!

The song is so much more exciting than me sitting here listening to Jason snore on the couch beside me!

Saw some old friends at Jason's school yesterday...so good to see familiar faces!!!

Afterward, we tried a new Ethiopian restaurant, Bole, which is around the corner from his school. It was excellent--very spicy!!!! The kids loved it--only Vinny ate the spicy food!

They have only been open 2 months, and we really want them to stay--it's good and also closer to us!!

*****

I think I am nesting. I sorted through all the kids' clothing this morning--dividing up the 0-12, 18 month, 2 year, all the way up to 10-12! Friends have been so generous with their own kids clothing, handing them down to us, and I had a crazy urge to get it all organized and separated. And it was so much fun going through the baby girl stuff!!!

*****

Lovie for Lovie!

Here is the "lovie" for our new Lovie...it is sibling-approved!!!! Mimi has a pink bear lovie and thought her new sister would LOVE to have this one! We are starting to get stuff together so we are ready when her referral comes! The agency suggests sending over a few items and a picture (for the staff), which we did for Natan. It is kind of nice to arrive and see your new child with some things from his/her new home...

This child, number five, is as exciting as one through four!!!

All in a day...

Mimi: "Mama...where did you get the recipe for this?"

She was referring to my evidently righteous "Beans & Wieners"--I told her it was a family recipe passed on from my great-great/her great-great-great grandmother. I told her it would be hers one day and now she is very excited!!

What a letdown it will be one day when I smack a pack of turkey wieners down beside a can of Bush's Baked Beans and say, "Heat 'er up, girl!"

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While on the treadmill, V and N were napping and M and G were watching Kai Lan. George came running into the workout room and informed me that Sponge Bob was coming on--that is a "no no" show. Don't ask me why, I just don't let them watch it.

George: "It's OK, mama. We can handle it. We can handle Sponge Bob."

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Tonight was our weekly Wal Mart shop. As a treat, we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a coffee (obviously for Mom--DECAF). Vinny and I waited in the van. As Jason came back with the others and a cup of coffee, Vinny started singing,

"Coppee, coppee, cooo-ppee!" Music to my ears!!!!!

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Natan sat at the piano today and placed a nice little bit...do we have a musician in the making??

Must. Get. Some. Sleep.

Midnight.

I was wide awake last night into the wee hours of the morning. This always happen, as my mind tends to race as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Thinking about so many things and I absolutely cannot stop. Suggest what you will--this has happened all my life and nothing helps.

Hoping to be asleep within the next thirty minutes...thought my blog would do the trick!!

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Mimi came downstairs tonight around 10:00 or so...dazed and confused.

I asked the standard question when this happens:

"Where are you?" (she said basement while standing in the sun room)

Now I know she is asleep--we don' wake her up unless we have to--it's what the exerts say!

I pick her up and hold her.

Then the crying starts.

Get her on the toilet before she pees in her jammies or throws up--or both on a tough night.

Tonight was an 8 on a scale of 1-10.

Mimi has Night Terrors.

Night terrors can happen to anyone, not just to children who are adopted. This is part of the reason we co-sleep. This daughter of ours didn't have anyone snuggling her or loving her for almost a year of her life. We are not going to just ignore that because of those around us who are conventional, anal people who frown on our sleeping arrangements.

You don't have to sleep with us, so why do you care??

Now that I understand her night terrors, I know how to properly handle them.

The part that worries me is that she sleep walks from upstairs and has no knowledge of where she is. This is a tad dangerous...

By the time I got her "calm", her eyes have stopped rolling back and she is asleep in my arms.

Back upstairs, she snuggled in and had a few bits of conversation. Phew.

It breaks my heart to see and hear her go through this, and all I can do is hug her close until it passes. She is sleeping soundly beside me with Reggie and Stanley on her feet and I can hear the post-cry sniffly breathing...

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Still, with all the insomnia and chaos, I wouldn't trade this for the world.

****

OK...I really need to sleep.

Well, uh, OK, let me see!

The other day Mimi asked, out of the blue:

"Mama...how did Daddy put the baby inside your tummy?"

So go already!

My wish for today:

Every person/American that is "threatening" to move to an island or whatever because of a health care bill that while not perfect, will help so many, MOVE ALREADY!

Stop making idle threats and getting our hopes up!!!!!!!!! A country without some of you would definitely be better!

But please do not move to Canada--they don't want you--trust me!!!!

Rainy Sunday Randomness

The other day, Mimi was laying on her "Diego" pillow. I reminded her that she used to love Diego, even more than Dora. I asked her if it was that she likes all the boys we have...

She answered, "It's because he has eyes and hair like me."

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George: "Mama, may I tell you something?

Me: "Sure--what is it?"

George: "I love you..."

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And, some puppy love:

First Day of Spring!

I believe this YouTube clip says it all--four out six Montagues were in the pool today!! Obviously not Vinny or Minna! Mimi went in after Dad, then George (SURPRISE!!!), followed by Tan-Tan (Vinny's name for Natan!).

Enjoy the clip--Karen L, this one's for you and may I say, "Good times!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc

Binky, My Binky!

(New pics uploaded in Picasa!)

Here is Vinny's first official addiction caught on camera (and yes, he is wearing a hair clip)

Reactions

Have decided to stop trying to make nice with those who bring stress to my life. It's not worth it. I am keeping only kind people around...and the ones who can accept us (this family) the way we are--bumps and all! My Aunt Gail & Uncle Neb always had a sign, and may still, hanging in their house. "Accept us as we are, or leave us be!" Of course they also had one in their bathroom that said, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie!!" Both are profound in their own way!

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(The following is not directed at any one in particular--just observations based on people's reactions to Natan's diagnosis)

Several folks have already told us that they think Natan's doctor is wrong and that he is fine. I suppose I kind of understand the need for denial. It's just that we do not have that luxury, nor do we think this is such a terrible thing. This is our new journey with Natan. We can't NOT take this journey with him--he needs help, he gets help. We just need to redefine our goals and dreams of what we thought his life would be like, and embrace this new path. Denying this is going to hurt him, and Jason and I cannot keep defending and explaining his diagnosis. I am amazed at how many people are quick to say they don't believe the doctor is right. Part of me wonders if it's because they cannot accept him this way. I hope not...for his sake.

Letter No. 1 (I'm sure they'll be more!)

(Blog contains language that some find offensive--don't read it if you're going to be offended!)

Dear Henry County Schools,

I would like to apologize in advance for some words that you will likely be hearing in the new school year this Fall from Mimi and George. You see, I'm Canadian. (Isn't that a universal excuse--blame Canada!!!!). My favorite vacation spot was/is the Mundle's Farm in Nova Scotia--one of the many reasons was that we got to say "shit" for 2 weeks--they didn't say "manure". The "sh" word was acceptable EVEN BY THE KIDS!!!!! Of course, upon returning home to Ontario, that didn't fly. Manure became mundane manure again...and you would have to have a "BM" even!!!!!! No wonder I was always constipated! BM, mother--really??!! We couldn't even say "poop", I recall.

The day of my Grandpa's funeral, our dog Hazel Mary ran away and I heard my dad drop the F-Bomb for the first time! I remember--he was in my parent's bedroom in his tightie-whities and black dress socks (a uniform of sorts!) and he just let it rip--twice in a row! I remember this sick, guilty feeling of awe and thought, "WOW!" I knew then the power of words...but when I tried to use it later I got in a lot of trouble.

Then I moved here. To the South. The land of: "Dad-Gummit."I also hear, but am sure it's not exclusively Southern: "Oh, Snap", "Oh, Father", and now I am hearing "Frickin'" from many young kids. Seriously?? This is what passes for making an exclamatory point?

In the past five years, being the sole educator of Mimi and George, I admit, there are times when words have slipped out. We hit a dog three and a half years ago while driving and I put two words together that I have never put together in my life. AND THEY REPEATED IT MONTHS LATER!!! What are the chances!

I do not drop f-bombs (I do have some standards). I also refuse to say Dad-Gummit. if you're going to say it, make it stick. How else will my kids know when Mommy is mad and not just a little annoyed?

And I found out that Jason has been letting them listen to the musical he is working on at Woodward, "Curtains". Evidently, there is some serious profanity in it. For example, after George and Mimi attacked and killed a "flaumet" (hornet) the other day, George, after flushing the dead flaumet down the toilet said, as he was leaving the bathroom, "Son of a bitch. I killed it." He said it quietly and without any knowledge of what he was saying. If he had sung it (Jason said it's in the musical they've been listening to), I might not have written this letter, but now I am worried. Not that their language will offend--don't really care. But I worry they will miss recess every day for some slip up.

In my defense, I don't let them use the words "stupid," "gay," "retard," or "shut up." I find those more offensive than anything else. Parents who allow this should be ashamed.

They do say "Oh my god." And since religion has no place in public school, you can't stop them. It's not cursing. It's not taking anything in vain. People who call themselves religious types but are mean to people--they're taking care of the "in vain" part.

They do not know that "jackass" is considered a bad word--they think it's an appropriate word for a person who texts/talks on his/her cell while driving!!!!

They will call smokers stupid (the one allowance for the word), because well, smoking is stupid.

And I can promise you one thing: You will never hear a racist comment from my kids. They will love you and hug you and do everything they can to please you, they'll just add a little spice occasionally. Please be forgiving and understanding.

So, teachers, I hope you will be able to get past the imperfections of my children (the direct reflection and imperfections of their parents!!!!).

It's not their fault.

They're half-Canadian.

Sincerely yours,

A. Monatgue

(Have I mentioned lately that if you don't like what I write, don't read??!!)

True Kindness

Some people talk the talk, but they ultimately do not put their words into actions.

Some people are into the action and just do it without all the talk.

Some people do "good acts" and have to have a plaque announcing what they've done.

And sometimes, Random Acts of kindness DO happen without fanfare.

A few weeks ago, Jason brought home an unexpected card with money inside. It was a random donation from a family that knows Jason, to be used as we see fit.

If it's OK with the family, I have decided to send it to the Layla House project--home to babies and kids living with HIV and AIDS in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Jason has assured me they will likely be down with that--he also said she could be my "mind twin"!!! You mean there is another like-minded person out there?? I am not alone????

To that family...thank you. In the midst of your own busy life, you took the time to show kindness.

Thank you...

Dear Carly & Samantha,

THANK YOU!! I just got your messages on Facebook. I have cooled down--I always do!!

I just wanted to publicly say that there are at least two awesome teens out there who are going to change the world someday...they changed mine tonight and gave me hope!

Love you, girls!!!!!

Dog Therapy

Have I said before how glad I am that we added Reggie to our family (in a dog, calm-assertive way!)??

I knew he would be great for Natan who he loves Stanley but is a little much for a small dog. I cannot count the number of times Natan snuggles, hugs, kisses, or says "I love you" to Reg during the day. And Reggie just eats it up.

It may not be exactly what the doctor ordered, but it sure does a Mama's heart good...

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Speaking of Reggie...he had his rabies shot today and didn't even flinch! Mimi was with me and watched--he was such a good boy!

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Vinny is now asking and answering questions. Meaningful ones. It's scary.

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Mimi and George told me today they were never leaving home, or me. Yay!!! For now, that is great! I can barely stand to think about how much I'll miss them in the fall...I can't imagine them being out of the house for good. Cue tears.

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Took the first step with Henry County Special Ed and now waiting to slug through the

paperwork.

I have to admit...we are feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.

It's one thing to suspect something.

Something different altogether when that something gets confirmed.

Becomes real.

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My hero of the week (Sally--you ought to appreciate this!!). Molly from Cuttin' Up Hair Salon. She basically rocks. I will forever be in her debt and it has nothing to do with how she does my hair!

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The next step...

Went to Natan's final appointment today and received the doctor's assessment and recommendations. Can I just say, if I have not already--she has treated both Natan and me with a great deal of respect and is just downright nice.

Thanks to my friend, Kyron, for the recommendation.

Duane--we tried for Marcus but the year wait was killer!

So...we are not sharing all details, because we are still wrapping our own heads around some of the information. But...what our pediatrician suggested and what we have suspected for some time is in fact true. Natan has severe developmental delays and from mild Autism. He will be starting Special Ed PreK as soon as possible--the remainder of the year, we hope.

Notice how I didn't say "suffers from"...this is not something that is wrong with him.

This is just another part of his story.

We don't have a feeling of doom--Natan is still Natan. Nothing has changed, it has just become medically official.

I am so proud of how he reacted to and interacted with his doctor.

Proud Mama...

Our son has a developmental disability--the new, kinder term for "Mental Retardation."

It doesn't change the fact that he is at the same cognitive level of his younger brother.

It doesn't change the fact that he is lovable, snugly, silly, and has a heart of gold.

It doesn't change the fact that we love him to bits.

It also doesn't make it OK for you to stare at him when he has an outburst.

It doesn't make it OK for you to roll your eyes at his behavior.

It doesn't make it OK for you to lose patience with him because he acts differently.

I watch other moms survive the ins and outs of having a special needs child.

I don't know if I have what it takes, but I know one thing: Natan does.

He has survived Typhus.

He has survived near starvation.

He has survived losing his family and having to adjust to and love a new one.

He is just this little person with a medical label.

And he is FABULOUS!!!!!!!

Where's Marietta and who is she??

Had Natan's second appointment today--his last will be next week where we will receive his assessment...I got to observe him without him knowing and it was amazing to see him one on one with the doctor--she's fantastic!

She told me it is very typical for people to take the "there's nothing wrong--he'll be just fine" approach because they simply can't handle anything being what they perceive as "wrong" with someone. Even a mild delay such as Natan's needs to be assessed and treated somehow, and burying your head in the sand is not considered medically viable!

George pretty much spent the morning asking where Marietta was, and "who is she?" I finally got through to him that it is a place, not a girl--I don't know that he is convinced...

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Received a beautiful book in the mail today from our agency. Now that we are officially waiting and it could be any day (!), they are asking us to hold a fundraiser or to somehow raise funds or items to support the main orphanage in Addis where most of our agency's children come from. Done, done, and done!

The book is beautiful, and I am so excited to be returning to Addis sooner than later!

Can't wait to visit Natan's centre and share pictures with them of Natan as he is now...

Can't wait to show Mimi and SaSa why I love ET so much.

To me it will be the same feeling as going home...some adoptions connect you to a place and its people. Ethiopia is definitely one of those places.

Kind of hoping our referral would come before the Ethiopia Group dinner this weekend--but highly doubtful!

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Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against a wall. I am trying so hard to teach my kids to love others no matter what...and treat others with respect no matter what...

My Dad always said to heap kindness on those who are not so kind to you to show them how to be kind, and to always rise above their behavior by being the "better" person. I have always tried to do that.

Isn't the whole idea of "Love your neighbor" meant to includeeveryone?? Even those you do not particularly like?

Would it kill people to be kind?

Humanism 101.

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Reggie was on the dinner table tonight (no, we were not in the room at the time, allowing this!!!). There was something seriously lacking in my "shhhhh!!!!!" sounds that had Mum and I in fits--but I maintained Alpha status and he got down.

I still haven't spoken to the dogs--it's been five days.

They are dogs.

They are not people.

This is SO hard!!!!!!

They are So darn cute!!!!!!